Sometimes Making Mommy Friends is Hard

So being a first time mom, I had a few handful of friends who were moms before me, or new moms just like me.  I knew it would be healthy and beneficial for Holden to have some other interaction with babies his own age.  So using the site meetup.com (which is a site that has a bagillion different groups from mommy groups, to photography, to book clubs--go check it out!), I searched for mommy groups in my area.  I found a bunch, but two in particular caught my eye.  One was a Christian Mommy group, and one was a Hip Mommy group.  I had such high hopes, and RSVP to lots of meetups they had scheduled and got ready to make some mommy friends!

 Well, without going into too much detail, I was kicked out of both those mommy groups!  I know, can you believe it!  I was dumped!  The first group had WAY too many rules, if you don't un-rsvp in time, you get dinged; if you don't come to enough events you get dinged; if you do a no-show b/c your child is sick you get dinged!  These moms just didn't seem very welcoming to the new girl in my opinion.  I would try and join in conversation, and they would just barley acknowledge me.  :(  I would suggest a meetup, and they would just give me a half smile, and suggest what they thought was better. I have some pretty thick skin, and these momma's got to me.  It's like they were sizing me up, that I wasn't good enough for their group. No bueno!  So I got the email from the founder, telling me that they had dump me because I wasn't committed to their group.  Whatever!  Oh wait, it gets better!  Then the second group I joined, the mommies were awesome!  Very welcoming, pleasant and so sweet!  And the kiddos were just as great, and lots of babies Holden's age!  Well, then a few playdates later, I got the email from this founder dumping me saying I was "changing the dynamics of her group".  I simply just suggested to have some baby play dates since all the playdates seemed toddler oriented, and there were quite a few babies in the group.  This group I had made a few mommy friends, and was so sad to have been dumped, and was gonna lose them!  It wasn't a good day for me when that happened.  I felt like if they didn't like me because of my parenting style, and that made me question myself as a mommy.  That's never a good feeling.  I know I'm a good Mom, but geez man, can I catch a break!??! 

Soooo, needless to say after getting dumped twice, I was a little bit in the dumps about being able to find new mommy friends outside of my small group of friends who had babies.  I didn't want to feel like I had to put my best face on and sell myself to them. I didn't wanna get butterflies in my stomach showing up to a playdate wondering if I would fit in.  I just wanted to be ME. 

In light of all that, my sweet friend and close neighbor Candice and I wanted to start a mommy play date group.  We wanted it to be Christian based and very welcoming to new mommies, to be mommies and all mommies!  Candice and I had both been part of those two mommy group I got dumped from, difference is she didn't get dumped!  ;)  Lucky her! So we brainstormed one night, sent some emails back and forth and got the juices flowing.  We know what we didn't want for our group, one with no rules, no demands, no judgment, just a fun group! So we came up with Moms of Faith.  We invited the mommy friends we made in the other groups (take that mommies who dumped me!  ha!) and they joined, and we grew like wildfire.  We made a Facebook group and Facebook page, and spread the word every chance we got.  That was back in June, now three months later we are 56 member strong! 

We have awesome playdates, I have made life long friendships for myself, and for Holden.  It's a great group, great camaraderie and it's most importantly FUN!  We have a different play date scheduled a couple times a week, so moms can pick and chose which one is best for their schedule.  Holden and I love our story time on Monday mornings and open gym time on Friday's.  We are so proud our little group. 

So if are looking for a mommy group, don't be discouraged!  It takes some time to be the new girl and to make those friends.  Just as nervous as you are, those other moms could be ten times more nervous than you.  They just have a really good game face!  So don't let those groups that dumped you or didn't let you in get you sidtracked!  Go join another group, your mommy group is out there somewhere!  Ask a friend, look within your church, or just talk that mommy at the playground or waterpark who is sitting next to you.  We all have something in common, so when all else fails talk about the kiddos or pregnancy!  :)  Happy findings of your mommy group!

Brightest Blessings,
Valerie

3 Months of Catch Up!

I know....it's been 3 months.  I am getting back and slacking at my blogging.  Nothing in particular has stopped me from blogging, other than sheer laziness and not making time for it.  A lot has happened in the past three months.  Let's see what I can re-cap what's happened since April, and go!

--Holden has been in his helmet now for almost 3 months now, and doing swimmingly!  He is now at 7mm, when we started at 15!!  The goal is to get to 5mm or below.  We have a follow up in one week, so stay tuned!  He also got a custom designed helmet courtesy of his super duper cool Uncle Donald.  Check out the before and after helmet.

Here is the Camo helmet......and the super cute camo overalls Holden's Pappy got him!

                                               
                          And here is his custom made STARband helmet. 

 

The front has his name on it,                                 The back says "Fixin' My Flat!" and below his name it says "Firefighter".  
                                                                        

       
                                              

--My mom came to visit for the entire month of May.  It was amazing, fun, and not long enough.  Living a thousand miles away from your parents, who are now grandparents, is hard on both sides.  We had  blast and can't wait to see her again, and Pappy!

 Holden and Grandma Sharon the day she got here!
 

 --I quit pumping the end of May.  It was time....and my freezer could only hold so much milk.  It was a little harder easier than I thought quitting....but it was still emotional.  Good thing is though that I have enough to last Holden till he is a year, and that was my goal!

--Holden had O.T. a few times and some follows up with a developmental specialist for his torticollis.  He did great with all the sessions we had and has full range of motion to turn his head to the left side.  Still working on the tilt, but that will just take time and patience.  He is not a big fan of the stretches and exercies.

--My friends and I started a mommy group called Moms Of Faith, and have met a whole lot of mommy friends, who I LOVE.  Holden and I go on about 2 play dates a week with them.  We are loving getting out and seeing new things and meeting new mommies and babies.

So yeah, that about sums up the past three months in a nutshell.  We are loving life and enjoying every minute of it.  Nothing earth shattering has happened, just living an everyday normal life, and happy to be just that, normal.  :)

Brightest Blessings,
Valerie

I'm Baaaaack!

Well it’s been a hot minute since I’ve written on this blog I left on in June of LAST YEAR!  So in the light of the New Year, I’m gonna get the blog motor up and running again.  I have missed blogging and I am excited to get back at it again, really excited!   I’ve been brewing up some ideas on what I want to blog about, doing some blog research, and checking what’s hip nowadays.  Ok, now that sounded totally corny when I typed it, but it sounded really clever in my head when I was thinking it. Whomp whomp!  I guess I better get to cracking on my mad writing skills before I get too far into this blog thing ya’ think?

With my new found blog enthusiasm, I can tell you my perspective on things are a teeny tiny bit different this time around.  Why you ask, oh just a lil’ something happened to me, a lil’ someone came into my life, a lil’ someone I like to call my son, Holden!  Holy hell, I’m a momma now!!!  AHHHHH!  Can you believe it!?  I am so elated I want to scream from the mountain tops.  You know people always tell you, (for all of you who aren’t moms yet) you’ll never know till you’re a mom, well damn if they weren’t right.  You really don’t know until you are a mom.  It changes everything, and I mean for the better.  Now, you’re talking to the girl who was all about me, me, me,---now I’m not talking materialistic me, but me as in I like to sleep in till noon on a random Tuesday, just because I can.  I’m talking about me, the girl who was all about my furbabies Bella & Chloe and what bandana they were gonna wear when we went on our next walk.   So yeah, you might say my blog topics might be a bit different that I would have ever imagined they would be.  That just means I get to reach a new group of people I wouldn’t have ever reached before, and that my friend is awesome. 

This year, I’m not going to make any new year’s resolutions, but proclamations!  I hope you are sticking to the resolutions you made!  I know we all do this every year, so let me share my proclamations with you!  They are as follows:

-Do my best to lose the rest of the baby weight (only a few more pounds to go!  Woo hoo)

-Have better time management---I’m not used to having to pack up for two when I leave to go on a
“quick” errand.  Those no longer exist by the way. 

-Make some new mommy friends---this is a feat I have not yet delved into yet—where do I find these “mommy friends”?  Lol

-Make an effort to get REALLY involved in my ladies bible study this year, not just be another person sitting and listening.

 Brightest Blessings
Valerie