Sometimes Making Mommy Friends is Hard

So being a first time mom, I had a few handful of friends who were moms before me, or new moms just like me.  I knew it would be healthy and beneficial for Holden to have some other interaction with babies his own age.  So using the site meetup.com (which is a site that has a bagillion different groups from mommy groups, to photography, to book clubs--go check it out!), I searched for mommy groups in my area.  I found a bunch, but two in particular caught my eye.  One was a Christian Mommy group, and one was a Hip Mommy group.  I had such high hopes, and RSVP to lots of meetups they had scheduled and got ready to make some mommy friends!

 Well, without going into too much detail, I was kicked out of both those mommy groups!  I know, can you believe it!  I was dumped!  The first group had WAY too many rules, if you don't un-rsvp in time, you get dinged; if you don't come to enough events you get dinged; if you do a no-show b/c your child is sick you get dinged!  These moms just didn't seem very welcoming to the new girl in my opinion.  I would try and join in conversation, and they would just barley acknowledge me.  :(  I would suggest a meetup, and they would just give me a half smile, and suggest what they thought was better. I have some pretty thick skin, and these momma's got to me.  It's like they were sizing me up, that I wasn't good enough for their group. No bueno!  So I got the email from the founder, telling me that they had dump me because I wasn't committed to their group.  Whatever!  Oh wait, it gets better!  Then the second group I joined, the mommies were awesome!  Very welcoming, pleasant and so sweet!  And the kiddos were just as great, and lots of babies Holden's age!  Well, then a few playdates later, I got the email from this founder dumping me saying I was "changing the dynamics of her group".  I simply just suggested to have some baby play dates since all the playdates seemed toddler oriented, and there were quite a few babies in the group.  This group I had made a few mommy friends, and was so sad to have been dumped, and was gonna lose them!  It wasn't a good day for me when that happened.  I felt like if they didn't like me because of my parenting style, and that made me question myself as a mommy.  That's never a good feeling.  I know I'm a good Mom, but geez man, can I catch a break!??! 

Soooo, needless to say after getting dumped twice, I was a little bit in the dumps about being able to find new mommy friends outside of my small group of friends who had babies.  I didn't want to feel like I had to put my best face on and sell myself to them. I didn't wanna get butterflies in my stomach showing up to a playdate wondering if I would fit in.  I just wanted to be ME. 

In light of all that, my sweet friend and close neighbor Candice and I wanted to start a mommy play date group.  We wanted it to be Christian based and very welcoming to new mommies, to be mommies and all mommies!  Candice and I had both been part of those two mommy group I got dumped from, difference is she didn't get dumped!  ;)  Lucky her! So we brainstormed one night, sent some emails back and forth and got the juices flowing.  We know what we didn't want for our group, one with no rules, no demands, no judgment, just a fun group! So we came up with Moms of Faith.  We invited the mommy friends we made in the other groups (take that mommies who dumped me!  ha!) and they joined, and we grew like wildfire.  We made a Facebook group and Facebook page, and spread the word every chance we got.  That was back in June, now three months later we are 56 member strong! 

We have awesome playdates, I have made life long friendships for myself, and for Holden.  It's a great group, great camaraderie and it's most importantly FUN!  We have a different play date scheduled a couple times a week, so moms can pick and chose which one is best for their schedule.  Holden and I love our story time on Monday mornings and open gym time on Friday's.  We are so proud our little group. 

So if are looking for a mommy group, don't be discouraged!  It takes some time to be the new girl and to make those friends.  Just as nervous as you are, those other moms could be ten times more nervous than you.  They just have a really good game face!  So don't let those groups that dumped you or didn't let you in get you sidtracked!  Go join another group, your mommy group is out there somewhere!  Ask a friend, look within your church, or just talk that mommy at the playground or waterpark who is sitting next to you.  We all have something in common, so when all else fails talk about the kiddos or pregnancy!  :)  Happy findings of your mommy group!

Brightest Blessings,
Valerie